DISMAL INTENTIONS
DISMAL INTENTIONS
TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
HALL OF FAME CLASS OF 2024
 
Week Team Points
1 Cincinnati Brown 134.5
2 Great Dismal Swamp Monsters 138.7
3 0.0
4 0.0
5 0.0
6 0.0
7 0.0
8 0.0
9 0.0
10 0.0
11 0.0
12 0.0
13 0.0
14 0.0
 
Rank Team  
1 Cincinnati Brown
2 Milford Marauders
3 Oky Ducks
4 Swamp Monsters
5 Multiple Scoregasms
6 I Got Boom
7 Renegades
8 Scammers
9 Dans Destroyers
10 Flippin Birds
11 Warriors
12 Kentucky Moondogs
 
  Team
Renegades
Milford Marauders
Dans Destroyers
Warriors
Kentucky Moondogs
Multiple Scoregasms
Swamp Monsters
Scammers
Oky Ducks
Flippin Birds
I Got Boom
Cincinnati Brown
 
It is the cruelest fate fantasy football has to hand out. Not the early quarterback injury. Not you kicker missing field goals that would have turned the outcome. No, the worst fate fantasy football can dish out is losing when you are the second highest scoring team in the league. It happens every year. It has happened to every one of us. And it never stops sucking. And this time, it is truly dismal.

In all those instances, there is a winner. The Team of the Week who didn’t needlessly waste points on an unworthy opponent. This week, that triumphant team was the Great Dismal Swamp Monsters. They defeated the Flippin Birds 138-133. It was also the best game of the week. A five point margin for two teams who were more than ten points clear of everybody else. Kyler Murray was game MVP with 34. Marvin Harrison had his first breakout game in the NFL with 25. And Kaimi Fairbairn had 20 from the kicker position.

The Player of the Week is responsible for creating the first controversy of the season. It all started on Thursday night when the Marauders starts played, and in general, laid eggs. Prompting the Marauders own to text his opponent “Congratualations…”, effectively conceding the game. Then on Sunday, Alvin Kamara goes for 42 and turn the entire game upside down. The Mauaders beat the Scammers 103-89, but the Scammers are considering submitting a rule change to your humble and fair commissioner that “if you opponent concedes victory before all players have finished the game, the final score will be adjusted so that the team conceded to wins”. That just seems the most fair thing to do.

Look out for the Brown. I need to get clarification. Is this like a Stanford Cardinal thing? No S on the end. Whatever it is, it is working. Cincinnati Brown was in triple digits again, beating iGotBoom 122-97. JK Dobbins was the top scorer for Brown with 19. Brown had sever players score in double digits.

We knew entering the week there would be three 2-0 teams. The Marauders and Brown were the first two. The third is your Oky Ducks. They defeated the Renegades 107-89. Another team with no 20 point scorers, Justin Herbert was game MVP with 19.

Two time defending champion Multiple Scoregasms are in the win column. They defeated the Warriors 108-98. Calvin Ridley led the way with 20 points. The Warriors drop to 0-2, but don’t worry, I hear all the great teams are 0-2 this time of year. Like the Bengals, for example.

Last, and this time, least, Dan’s Destroyers won a ‘defensive’ battle, beating the Kentucky Moondogs 78-60. And yeah, no players scored 20… but that can’t possibly surprise you. It just occurred to me, the Destroyers pull off the opposite of what the Birds did. They won with the second lowest score in the league! Man, that just doesn’t feel right.

SURVIVOR
Well, guess I’m not going to stop writing about the Destroyers-Maruders game. With a score like that this early in the season, you can be pretty confident your getting kicked of the island. Hope you can doggy-paddle.

GAME OF THE WEEK
The Oky Ducks are 2-0. The Swamp Monsters are the current Team of the Week. I’m picturing the Oky Ducks floating on a placid, algae covered lake, deep in the Great Dismal Swamp. Unaware of the danger lurking beneath. The tranquility is broken by a sudden splash from below, a lot of panicked squawking, violent flapping of wings, feathers flying. But the Ducks fight back, pecking and kicking at the slimy attacker.

It doesn’t sound like a fair fight. Actually, when you look at the quarterbacks, it doesn’t look like a good fight. Justin Fields versus Kyler Murray. I may be selling Murray a bit short. And Fields could be replaced by Justin Herbert. Regardless, its not Mahomes vs Burrow. But it should still be a good game. And we’ll know a week from now what it stronger, a Duck or a Swamp Monster.
 
Article ID: 198
MONEY MATTERS
Yeah, I still haven't updated for 2023. :( ..... Updated January 9, 2023
Team Entry Fee Amt Paid Owner Owes Winnings
(Lg Owes)
Comments
Renegades $50 $50 $0 $5 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, balance 0
$5 credited to 2024 entry fee

1 TOW, $5 won

[11/6/23] paid, cash.
Dans Destroyers $50 $0 $0 $10 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, balance 0
$10 credited to 2024 entry fee

[12/19/23]2 TOWs = $10

[11/6/23] Paid $50 on August 27, 2023 (Venmo)
Scammers $50 $50 $0 $0 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, balance 0

[12/19/23]Division winner $100

[11/6/23] paid, cash
Oky Ducks $50 $50 $0 $20 [12/19/23]4 TOWs = $20

[11/14/23]Reminded commish Ducks had an IOU for this season. Entry fee paid
Multiple Scoregasms $50 $50 $0 $0 [1/15/24] 2023 account closed, balance 0
Lg paid $205 on 1/1/24 for Lg Champ, TOW

[12/19/23] 1 TOW, $5 won

[11/6/23] paid, 2022 prize money
Flippin Birds $50 $50 $0 $0 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, balance 0

[12/19/23]$5 for TOW applied to Entry Fee. $45 paid via Paypal.

[11/6/23] last transaction $10 for NCAA Tourny May 26 (PayPal)
Kentucky Moondogs $50 $5 $0 $0 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, balance 0

[11/6/23] $5 from 2022 winnings, $45 paid Sept 5, 2023 (PayPal)
Milford Marauders $50 $50 $0 $105 [1/18/24]2023 account closed, LG owes $55
$50 credited to 2024 entry fee

[12/19/23]1 TOW = $5. Division Champion $100. Total winnings $105.

[1/9/23] Dude PREPAID at golf on Jan 2! Y'all could learn a thing or two from Mr. King!
Swamp Monsters $50 $0 $0 $105 [12/19/23]1 TOW = $5. Division Champion $100. Total winnings $105.

[11/6/23] Paid September 13, 2023 (PayPal)
Warriors $50 $0 $50 $5 [12/19/23] 1 TOW, $5 won

[11/6/23] No Transactions for 2023 Season
Cincinnati Brown $50 $50 $0 $0 [1/15/24] 2023 account closed, balance 0

[11/6/23] 2022 winnings credited to 2023 entry fee. $15.
$35 paid September 12, 2023 (PayPal)
I Got Boom $50 $0 $40 $0 [12/19/23]2 TOWs = $10. Deducted from Entry Fee

[11/6/23] No Transactions for 2023 Season
Three, no make that four, delightfully easy ways to pay your humble commish...
1. Cold, Hard, CASH. Paying with Cash comes with the honor of meeting your humble commish. You might even get a Thank You!
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3. Preferred Electronic Payment... PayPal. I am davidlamb.015@gmail.com on Pay Pal
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TFFL PRIZE MONEY
DIVISION WINNER : $100
TEAM OF WEEK : $5 per (14 x $5 = $70)
RUNNER UP : $30
CHAMPION : $200

BMFFL PRIZE MONEY
DIVISION WINNER : $25
TEAM OF THE YEAR : $10
CHAMPION : $35