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DE JA BLITZ

BEER BETTER THAN CHICKEN

DE JA BLITZ

POINTS BLITZ

DON’T MESS WITH MOM

BANE DELIVERS THE PAIN

HAPPY FEET

Week

Team

Points

Happy

131.7

Bane

122.2

MOMBALL

149.1

Gritz Blitz Falcons

141.7

Gritz Blitz Falcons

128.1

Beercats

127.3

0.0


Rank	Team
1	Momball
2	Beercats
3	Old England Patriots
4	GritzBlitzFalcons
5	Car Ramrod
6	Digital Scammers
7	Prestige Worldwide
8	Secret Scammers
9	Steel City FooBall
10	Down The Drain
11	Transformation Worldwide
12	Baloony Boiz
13	Rimski Raiders
14	Titans King-less Court
15	Cincinnati Eagles
16	Shakedown
17	Grande Fantasmas
18	Happy
19	Bane
20	Error 404: Team Not Found
21	Willow Run Flyers
22	Florida Seabreeze
23	Ohio State Buckeyes
24	Kickin Chicken

Team

Digital Scammers

Willow Run Flyers

Baloony Boiz

Momball

Beercats

Cincinnati Eagles

Down The Drain

Florida Seabreeze

Grande Fantasmas

GritzBlitzFalcons

Happy

Error 404: Team Not Found

Bane

Ohio State Buckeyes

Old England Patriots

Prestige Worldwide

Kickin Chicken

Rimski Raiders

Secret Scammers

Shakedown

Steel City FooBall

Transformation Worldwide

Car Ramrod

Titans King-less Court

Maybe I can just copy and paste last week’s article. I don’t think anyone will notice. Nah! I’ll write a new one just for the heck of it.

The Gritz Blitz Falcons improve to 3-2 with a 128.1-108.3 victory over Prestige Worldwide. The 128 points earned Blitz their second consecutive Team of the Week award. Along the way, Joe Burrow picked up a Player of the Week award for the Blitz. This game was actually a matchup of the two best players of the week, we actually faced each other in the best NFL game of the week. Burrow had 45 for the Falcons. Lamar Jackson had 43 for Prestige. While the quarterbacks largely offset each other, the Falcon had more depth to clinch a twenty point victory.

Fifteen feet. That is the margin that separated the Cincinnati Eagles from Florida SeaBreeze in a 98.0-97.5 outcome in favor of the Eagles. What a frustrating game and season for SeaBreeze, who drop to 0-5. The win moves the Eagles to 3-2, and that keeps them in a three way tie for first in the Lombardi division.

Grand Fantasmas got back in the win column over rival the Willow Run Flyers. Jordan Love and Tee Higgins had 21 and 20 respectively for Fantasmas. They were able to overcome a 31 point game from Jamar Chase. Fantasmas are now 3-2 in the Paul Brown division.

The Digital Scammers now have the best record in the league to themselves at 4-1 after a narrow 90-83 win over the Baloony Boiz. Kyler Murray was the only player in the game to score more than twenty points, he ad 28 for the Boiz. The Scammers had a more a more balanced attack with four players in double digits.

In the battle for the Queens Cup, the Old England Patriots kicked the Rimski Raiders right in the shorts 112-66. Darnell Mooney was the game MVP with 22. These teams won’t play again this year unless they find each other in the playoffs, so the Patriots will have bragging rights for the next year.

And Steel City FooBall dropped the Ohio State Buckeyes 113-95. CJ Stroud had 21 for the victorious FooBall. Baker Mayfield was actually the top player in the game for the Buckeyes with an impressive 29. But the down team support wasn’t there for the Buckeyes. FooBall is now 3-2, and tied for the Lombadi Division lead.

SURVIVOR
I do like it when you make it easy on me folks. Very little thinking to do. Right up my alley. This week’s patron of poor performance was Rimski’s Raiders. Seems that kick in the shorts from the Patriots sprung a leak in the Raider boat. At 66 points, it gets you booted off Survivor island.

SURVIVOR
I’m still having a hard time adjusting. I just got so use to Transformation Worldwide losing last year that every time I write an article this year, it catches me by surprise that they won. But here we are in week five and Transformation Worldwide is a league best (albeit tied) 4-1. And this week they got second hand Team of the Week honors with a 125-74 victory over the Titans King-less Court (which at some point somebody is going to have to explain this team name. I don’t get it. I totally believe this is a social reference, and a clear indicator I am old). Gino Smith and Tee Higgins were the top dogs for Transformation, with 24 and 20 points each.

The Beercats owe Mr. Burrow a beer. I assume guys with frosted hair do drink beer. Probably sips it. With a pinky up. Never the less, the Beercats won by eight, 113-105. But Joe outscored is QB opponent by twenty seven. I mean, this is a team game. Not a lot team in Beercats. But the other guys did do enough to move the Beercats to 4-1, tied for the best record in the league.

The game of the week saw Car Ramrod flush Down the Drain 121-119. Jamar Chase had 31 for Ramrod. What a bitter day Saturday must have been for the Drain. Had to root for Lamar Jackson, his fantasy QB against his beloved Bengals, only to have his QB have a huge day with 43 points, defeat his Bengals still lose his fantasy game. Might wanna go sip a bear with Joey.

Clearly y’all are not familiar with he cliché “Happy Commissioner, Happy League”. There is no Happy in Happy’s 98-95 defeat of the Scammers. Yeah, CJ Stroud had 21. Good for him. But this is three losses in a row for a team your humble commish thought was pretty good. Happy, the team, is now 3-2, a game back of the Beercats.

I need to arrange for Kickin Chicken to play SeaBreeze. Shakedown handed the Chicken their fifth loss to open the season. Jordan Love had 21 in Shakedowns 115-99 win.

I haven’t looked, but I think Survivor is gonna be easy in this league too. Momball won the game. They had 87. But it is Error 404 who glitched out and only scored 58. The only thing keeping them from going to Davey Jones locker this week is if they are already there. I have not looked. Regarding the game, I’m sure Momball is handling the victory with the utmost humility.

SURVIVOR
Now I’ve look. $*it happens fast in fantasy football. And just as I suspected, Error 404 has shorted out and left Survivor Island.

GAME OF THE WEEK
Week six is important. It is the first of the three all division game weeks. It is almost like the games mean double, because you are guaranteed to pick up a game on two teams in your league.

We are also deep enough into the season that we should start finding some good matchups. The good teams are starting to separate from the, um, well, the other teams.

And there is one game that stands out above all the others this week. A game that one year ago would have been scoffed at. I wouldn’t have even mentioned it for fear of embarrassing the owners. Last year, these two teams combined for a grand total of seven wins (I don’t mind embarrassing them now… I actually never really mind embarrassing any owner). That is one less win over the entire season than these teams bring into this game in week six.

That’s big stuff. This is a titanic showdown. Momball comes across the river to visit Transformation Worldwide in a Chuck Noll winner take all battle royal for first place. This game has to have an amazing QB matchup. Hall of Famers for sure.

Momball will put… seriously, Jared Goff. Sigh. OK, Momball’s gonna probably play Jared Goff. But Transformation Worldwide will have someone impressive. They start… Oh for pete sake. Gino Smith. And if they decide to mix it up, Transformation can go to Derick Carr.

Screw guys. The two best teams in the league have those quarterbacks. You just set fantasy football back twenty years. Hope you’re happy. Oh crap, not the happy theme again.

Article ID: 203

MONEY MATTERS

I'm in mid-season form. Have not updated for 2024. But I am thinking about it.

Owner Name

Team Name

Balance

Last Transaction

Amos, Rob

Buckeyes

Owner Owes League

($10.00)